Looking through my very first draft of The Final Year Project

The name wasn’t always The Final Year Project.

It didn’t even start from Butterfly Effect (if you’ve gone deep enough into this blog, you’ll know when I first started blogging my journey of this story, I mentioned it as Butterfly Effect).

The very first title that I conjured up when I started on this story on the 26th of April 2016 was Saving Sara.

I wrote 4666 words at one go. And easily 95% of those initial 4666 words has not made it into the actual book. Absolutely no regrets.

Why? Because I just looked through the word document again and damn. It’s the bare skeletons of the story. I only wrote the most prominent scenes I had thought of at that point. Let’s just say, most of those scenes made it into the book but not in the same way. And some of those initial 4666 words are just cringeworthy. And just… urh. It’s not all bad though. Some of them got me like, hmmm, why did I remove this? VERY FEW. Like 20 words. 3 dialogues. Could have added them but no. Because it doesn’t fit in with the characters and their way of speech anymore.

But anyway reading more and more of the initial rendering of the story has me like what on earth was I on?! The story went from zero to (IMO) 7/10 but where!??! I’m trying to find the point where I made the crazy important changes. I can’t seem to find it. But it’s something else that’s got me choking on my feelings. How did I turn a skeleton into a novel? It just seems so impossible just looking at the bare bones. Like seriously what was I on that made me think I could do this? What pushed me further and further to complete the story? In my very first Instagram post, I dedicated my journey to Megan. And I’m sure Megan had a huge part to play in it. But encouragement is one thing. A very important thing. But actually doing it, is something else altogether. The point where you go from ‘you can do this’ to ‘you did it’ is a different feeling altogether. So hard to put into words. A sense of an ending. A sense of achievement. A sense of Science. Something Neil Degrasse Tyson once said in an interview comes to mind. He said something along the lines of the best part of the Science is that even if you choose not to believe in it, it’s the truth, they’re the facts. And that’s how it is. Even if the world doesn’t believe in you, you did it once already, so there’s nothing stopping you from doing it again.

I’m a completely different person from when I started out on that story. Now I can see things quicker. I know which line of thought won’t work without even experimenting and writing. I’m not 100% great at it. But I’ve gotten much better. I look at the bare bones and I’m like ‘this would not work’, ‘that would not work’. Damn.


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